Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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