Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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