I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
