You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
