I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
