you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
