That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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