i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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