i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
