I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
