she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
