The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
