Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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