the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
