I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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