if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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