I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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