Do you still have your period?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize