so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
