Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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