Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
