It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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