dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just had sex bonerless
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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