Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
