i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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