look no pants
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
