I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
