Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
