What a fucking waste of an outfit
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
