If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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