Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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