Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
