I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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