you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
