How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
