Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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