Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
