it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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