Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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