In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
