In the future we'll all be gay
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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