it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize