im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
