Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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