I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
