you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
