Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
