The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
