bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
