I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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