Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
