Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
