When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
