She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
