windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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