im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
