Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
