You can't special order awesome
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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