I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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