after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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