You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
