do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Drunk is a universal language darling
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